The Inner Experience
Now that I have given everyone the basic background of my health issues in my previous blog post I would now like to begin with the actual intention of creating the blog: to share with you my experiences and insights.
First of all, my experience of being ill has greatly increased my faith and conviction in the efficacy of the Dharma. From the very beginning of my prognosis of liver cancer my mind has been completely at peace and oddly enough much more happy than before. My immediate response was a great sense of relief that I was purifying a great deal of negative karma and how fortunate I am that it is happening to me know in this life while I have the tools to transform it. Others often think that I must have done something really bad to have so much apparent physical suffering, when in actuality all of us have created mountains of negative karma over our countless previous lives that is merely waiting for the right circumstances to ripen.
Automatically, I kept thinking how fortunate I was to be purifying all this negative karma. My next reaction was to experience it for the welfare of others. Never once I have prayed or even wished to recover from my illness. Instead I merely pray that whatever is the most beneficial thing for others, whether living or dying, may be what happens. This way, if I live, I will know it is the most beneficial thing for others. If I die, I will know that that is what is the most beneficial thing for others. Either way, I can merely delight in knowing that whatever happens is the most beneficial thing for others and rest assured that there is no other more meaningful way to live my life.